When you have a couple hours to live, you’re probably gonna have sex with the nearest person to you. You wont care if they’re hot, if they have an STI, if they’re the same sex or anything like that. You’re just gonna want to get laid one last time.

If it turns out that you’re a single woman that has tagged along with a bunch of guys for protection, and you become surrounded with no escape. Things aren’t looking up for your dying moments. (Unless you’re into that kind of thing, idk, it looks a bit painful)…

If you’re a single man that offered to help out a bunch of women and offer protection, well, you’re gonna have a pretty spectacular going out party. So remember, help out as many people as you can, favours will be the only currency in zombieland.

Remember, though… Sex is NOT appropriate unless you can make SURE that you wont be attacked during it.

DO NOT GET CAUGHT WITH YOUR PANTS DOWN.