The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide.

The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide: Imagination.

Sat, 04 Jun 2011 13:02:39 -0400

For no reason what so ever, try to imagine the most amazing zombie creature that you can. Feel free to compile existing zombies from films/comics/books/games.

So, what’s the best zombie you can think of?

The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide: Discussion.

Mon, 30 May 2011 19:13:48 -0400

How many people are genuinely ready for an apocalypse?

I mean, seriously prepared. I know I’m not… I have no bunker, no food/drink to keep me alive, no serious weapons and no specific zombie plan in place. Sure, I know all of the things that make up a zombie plan, but I have some serious thinking to do before Z-Day comes along.

What about you guys, how prepared are you?

The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide: Blades.

Wed, 25 May 2011 22:17:07 -0400

Machetes, Katanas, Scimitars, Sabres, Hatchets, Axes…

What do they all have in common? They’re all very sharp, have infinite ammunition, zero reload time and are acknowledged world-wide as totally fucking bad-ass.

By all means, use guns as much as you want, but remember,

“Guns for show, knives for a pro”…

Sorry guys, had to reblog this :’)

Tue, 24 May 2011 12:12:07 -0400

Sorry guys, had to reblog this :’)

The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide: FUCK BITCHES, GET MONEY.

Mon, 23 May 2011 21:59:00 -0400

Just do it as much as you can, because to be honest, once society has crumbled, you can wave goodbye to your bank account and the chance of having any more sex.

Moral of the story: Appreciate every day on Earth while you’re still alive.

The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide: Get a van.

Sat, 21 May 2011 21:21:30 -0400

Never underestimate the power of the van.

It’s big, it’s strong and it will ~~make you feel like you’re the only girl in the world.~~

But yeah, in all seriousness, you’re gonna need:

Something to keep your shit in
Something to sleep in, if it’s not safe to go outside
Something to ram zombies out of the way, without slowing down
Something that will survive bombardment from zombies
Something that you can paint a red stripe down the side of and still feel awesome, even though there’s nobody alive to see it.

The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide: Drugs.

Sat, 21 May 2011 16:07:04 -0400

I know it sounds horrible, but you’re gonna have to be really fucking responsible when it comes to drug use. If you smoke weed every day, your chances of surviving are pretty minimal.

We all know that people aren’t that mobile when they’re high, so keep that shit for special occasions, i.e. “I have 10 minutes to live”, or “I just shot my best friend in the face”.

However, under no circumstances would I recommend dropping acid/shrooms when there’s zombies coming to eat you. That’s basically the definition of a bad trip.

The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide: JUST FUCKING READ IT.

Fri, 20 May 2011 15:36:58 -0400

The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide: JUST FUCKING READ IT.

The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide: Sex.

Fri, 20 May 2011 11:06:00 -0400

When you have a couple hours to live, you’re probably gonna have sex with the nearest person to you. You wont care if they’re hot, if they have an STI, if they’re the same sex or anything like that. You’re just gonna want to get laid one last time.

If it turns out that you’re a single woman that has tagged along with a bunch of guys for protection, and you become surrounded with no escape. Things aren’t looking up for your dying moments. ~~(Unless you’re into that kind of thing, idk, it looks a bit painful)~~…

If you’re a single man that offered to help out a bunch of women and offer protection, well, you’re gonna have a pretty spectacular going out party. So remember, help out as many people as you can, favours will be the only currency in zombieland.

Remember, though… Sex is NOT appropriate unless you can make SURE that you wont be attacked during it.

DO NOT GET CAUGHT WITH YOUR PANTS DOWN.

The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide: Transportation.

Thu, 19 May 2011 21:10:00 -0400

THE KNIGHT XV.

It will cost you an arm and a leg to get one, well, £325,000 to be precise.

But hey; if it saves your other arm and leg in the future, totally worth it.

(Click here for link)

Bullet-proof
Bomb-proof
Fire-proof
Oxygen breathing system
Run-flat tyres
Night vision
400bhp, 6.8-litre V10 engine.

Photo

Thu, 19 May 2011 20:55:09 -0400

The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide: Sunday 22nd, May, 2011.

Thu, 19 May 2011 19:06:00 -0400

If the zombie invasion does in fact commence this weekend, then I should hope you did your research. And I would like to wish you all the best of luck.

Now my children, devise your plans and flee to the country to further plot your vengeance

I would highly recommend having a zombie apocalypse movie marathon in the meantime.

And if it comes true, (~~Oh please God, let it be true)~~ then we can rub it in the face of everyone that said the world would end in 2012. ~~(Because that will be of the utmost importance when the world is about to end)~~.

The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide: Appearance.

Wed, 18 May 2011 13:21:12 -0400

Nobody will give a fuck if you have fresh kicks or some swag baggy pants once society has crumbled. You’re basically gonna have to dress like a soldier if you want any chance of escaping close quarters combat.

You could even just stock up on some skating pads and paintball gear to be honest, anything that’s gonna stop you from getting stupid injuries and cover any exposed flesh. I’ve seen one too many retards in movies that get bit on the forearm, not cool bro.

The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide: Preparation.

Tue, 17 May 2011 18:34:14 -0400

Learn some basic survival skills before the apocalypse.

Learn how to hunt, which foods you can eat, make fires, make tools, make shelter.

Even if you don’t live to see the zombie invasion, it could just lead to some awesome camping trips in the meantime.

The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide: If you live in the ghetto...

Sat, 14 May 2011 18:43:25 -0400

You’re gonna make it through this shit.

If you can deal with crack whores and gangsters scaring you 24/7, I’m sure you can deal with some dead guys wondering the streets.

Also, the gangsters and crack whores in the ghetto; you have enough man and fire power to threaten a small army, so an army of the un-dead shouldn’t be too hard.

The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide: It's not betrayal, it's survival.

Fri, 13 May 2011 19:18:00 -0400

I don’t care if he was your homeboy. If that man is bitten, you pop a cap in his ass. Or at least tie him down until his dying moments/rebirth.

Same deal goes for boyfriends and girlfriends. Also, I know you might want one last fuck, but nobody knows if that shit spreads like an STD, so a polite hand shake and maybe a hug will have to suffice. It would also be a good time to clear the air on anything you’ve been holding in. It might make it easier to kill them once they’ve turned.

The First Zombie Proof House

Wed, 11 May 2011 11:56:57 -0400

The First Zombie Proof House:

401kill:

“The Safe House,” designed by KWK Promes.

The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide: My weapons of choice.

Wed, 11 May 2011 11:35:00 -0400

For close combat:

Knuckle dusters/brass knuckles.
Knives/Blades. (They double up as tools).
Baseball bat/Golf club/Metal pipe.

Medium range combat:

Improvised spear/harpoon.
Pistol/Machine pistol with extra ammo.
If in a “lock-down” scenario, improvise Flame-thrower.

Long range combat:

Sniper rifle. (Remember to conserve ammo).
Crossbow/Bow & arrow. (You don’t want to be noisy).
Try to find grenades or improvise C4 type explosives.